May 29, 2015. This day will forever be etched into the memory of our family as the day life changed forever. On this day, not only were we approved to be foster parents, but we also received the call for our very first placement.
It was late afternoon, a mere one week after school let out for summer that we got a text from our Angels Foster Agency caseworker stating we had been approved to be foster parents. We were elated and equally scared at the same time. We did not expect this news so quickly as our file had just been sent to DHS the day prior and we had been told it would take 7-10 days for us to be either approved or deined. Nevertheless, the many years of heartache and turmoil that led to this incoming text message all came together in this special moment in time when it became utterly clear that the life we had previously known had all of a sudden become a thing of the past.
We were on our way to Purcell, Oklahoma for a baseball tournament when the phone rang, just an hour and a half after we had learned about our approval. I looked at the caller ID and saw it was our Angels caseworker and I swear, my heart skipped a beat. I knew what this meant; there was a child who needed our family to take them in because they had no place else to go. There are no words adequate enough to describe the feeling that came over me. Shock. Fear. Excitement. Joy. All of these emotions plus many others flooded through my body simultaneously as I started screaming to my husband and my son, “It’s our Angels caseworker calling!’.
As soon as I answered the phone, the CW (caseworker) said, “Remember when I told you sometimes you get a call for placement the same day you get approved? Well, this is one of those calls. There is a 3 year old boy that’s come into custody. Now I know you were really wanting a girl Kristin, but I’m obligated to call you.”
She then went on to tell us that she really didn’t have any information and that we should call the DHS caseworker. We hung up the phone and immediately placed the call to DHS. We were told the little boy had a 14 year old half sister that was also in custody. The CW said the little boy had no known behavior problems but he was pre-verbal, a term I was unfamiliar with but that she explained as, “He doesn’t talk much.” She also said she needed an answer quickly. It was already 5:30 pm and if they could not find a home, the children would have to go to a shelter.
When I hung up the phone, I panicked. A 3 year old boy who didn’t talk? That was not what I was selfishly hoping for. I wanted an infant, a baby girl, an unmet desire of my heart to be fulfilled with our first foster placement. I told Josh and Jason what the DHS CW had said and we called our Angels CW back seeking guidance from her. After talking it over with her, we knew we needed to either take both children or figure out how to say no to our first call for foster placement.
The next hour sped by as we talked, prayed, called family and friends, and tried to figure out what to do. Two kids for our first placement was not what we had signed up for, but splitting up a brother and a sister is not something we were capable of doing either. I was a complete mess, but Jason and Josh were both relatively calm. Jason kept talking about the fact the teenager was in my wheel house, one of my people, since I am after all a middle school teacher. The thought of taking in a 14 year old girl made me feel like I was going to puke, but we had to make a decision and none of us felt we could say no. This is what we had signed up for after all, right? To take in orphans, children who had been pulled from their homes, their parents, and had no place else to go.
I was incapable of making a decision which is very unusual for me. I told Jason as the spiritual leader of our family, it was his call. Josh looked us both in the eye and said, “I think we should do it.” We made the call and told them we would take both children, but wouldn’t be able to pick them up until after Josh’s ball games so it would be late.
We watched Josh’s games which of course were running behind. Every second that ticked by the anticipation level rose as our minds tried to wrap around the concept that we’d be picking up two children on our way home and we’d now be a family of five. As soon as the second game ended, we loaded up the car and raced back to OKC.
We were told to meet the DHS CW with the children at the Juvenile Justice Center. When we pulled up, it was past 11pm. We waited anxiously for the children to come out of the facility. It seemed like forever before the door finally opened and out emerged the CW, her supervisor, and 2 scared and exhausted children. The 3 year old little boy was crying because he had fallen asleep and they had to wake him. The 14 year old girl looked absolutely terrified. I can’t even begin to imagine what must have been going through her mind.
We got in the car and attempted small talk but it was definitely awkward. Everyone was exhausted but on high alert. It was a very long drive although in reality, only 20 minutes had passed.
We finally pulled up to the house and went inside. I asked the girl if she wanted me to show her around the house, or just take her to her room. She chose the latter. So I took them to their room, asked her if they needed anything, and bid them goodnight.
I don’t think anyone slept much that night. Jason and I lay awake in bed wondering if they were okay. We tried to sleep but sleep evaded us. Curiosity was flooding our minds making it impossible to sleep. Were the children asleep? Were they afraid? Were they worried about who we were and how we would treat them? Question after question flooded my mind as I drifted fretfully in and out of sleep.
Nothing could have prepared me for what ensued in the coming days and months. All the training we had done and all the testimonials we had heard did not come close to the reality of suddenly caring for two children who had come from very traumatic and difficult places.
Three months have passed since this night. I’m changed forever, as is my husband and son. Changed for the better? Certainly. Can we ever go back to who we were before? No. Would we want to go back and undo what has happened in the last 3 months? Never.
In becoming a foster family we have truly experienced some of the hardest days of our lives, but we’ve stuck together and have learned to take life one day at a time and often times, one moment at a time. We are being stretched in ways I never dreamed possible. Our faith has grown by leaps and bounds. Miracles have been witnessed and doors have opened we didn’t even know existed. Support has come from family, friends, and our church, but so has rejection, criticism, and a total lack of understanding of what we are doing and why we are doing it. It has been 1000 percent harder than I ever could have imagined.
Most days I know we are making a difference. Most days I know it will be worth it in the end. Most days I’m able to see the hope that God has instilled in our family and in the lives of these precious children. This hope, that comes from Him, is priceless to me.
Until next time,
Kristin
Made For More 