Gratitude

I love Christmas. There’s no time of year that carries more meaning for me. I always feel  an abundance of gratitude during the holidays. This year is no different. I take that back. This year is so different. How could it not be?

I cannot wrap my brain around all that is happening in our lives right now. Since we became a foster family on 5.19.15, life has become a blur, a constant roller coaster ride with non-stop emotional turmoil. And it has taken its toll. At least on me it has.

I’m wiped, I’m worn, I’m exhausted. But I’m still alive. And I’m still fighting the good fight, one day at a time, one struggle at a time.

Some days I want to quit. Other days I can’t believe how far our 15 year old foster daughter has come. Some days I wish we had never entered this world of foster parenting where the constant twists and turns, highs and lows, valleys and peaks can seriously leave you dizzy and doubtful that things will ever work out.

But I’m still standing. We are still going. We keep on keeping on. For this, I’m grateful.

Grateful that I see in my foster daughter a strength and resolve to overcome the obstacles before her. Grateful that her eyes are opening to a new way of life. Grateful that she’s stronger than she even knows. Grateful that God is doing a great work in her life. Grateful that my family, both near and far, have opened their hearts to this young lady.

Our court date next week could bring about life changing news for our foster daughter. I don’t know how to prepare her for it. Nor do I know what direction God will have us go next. But I can rest assured He has a plan. I can find my peace in knowing He is in control. I can trust Him fully and not worry about tomorrow because He is faithful and will see us and her through whatever lies ahead.

So as I enter this Christmas season, I look up to the heavens and smile. I thank God that I don’t need to have the answers because it’s all within His reach. I thank Him for the birth of a savior, a reason to live, hope for us all, even the most battered, broken, and bruised.