Aloha! We’ve probably all heard this word many times. But do most of us know what it truly means? I can be honest and say I wasn’t 100% sure so once I booked our trip to Maui, you better believe I darn sure looked it up. I didn’t want to look like a fool using the word Aloha incorrectly while visiting Hawaii for the first time. I have a major phobia about looking like a fool. Maybe it’s called foolophobia <insert awkward courtesy laugh after my lame attempt at humor>.
In my research, I ran across this mnemonic device for ALOHA:
Ask
Listen
Observe
Help
Ask again
If ALOHA was a flow chart, I guess that’s what it would look like. But it’s not. It’s a way of being. It’s feelling of being at home in your own skin. It’s wanting to see another’s perspective and understand it. Aloha is warm and welcoming, with arms open wide, ready to receive whatever it is that you need to lay down. Aloha is embracing another’s pain with no judgment. Aloha is a feeling deep in your heart. It’s not a person. It’s not a place. It’s not a thing. It’s pure magic and the sweet spot for living in my guestimation.
Aloha is a way of being. It encompasses love, joy, peace, compassion, empathy, curiousity, mutual respect for one another and so much more. It means living in harmony with the people and the land around you with mercy, sympathy, grace and kindness. It’s a beautiful word with an even more beautiful meaning and I didn’t understand it at all until I experienced it first hand in Hawaii. Now that I’ve been exposed to the beauty of Aloha, I’m craving that magic, that spirit of love and acceptance in my heart and I must find a way to breathe life back into it so that I can always live with the spirit of Aloha.
Going on vacation for me is a real challenge right now. The multiple autoimmune diseases that I have love to wreak havoc on my body and life. The damage to my body from those diseases and the medications used to treat them, as well as the cucrrent state of my health makes traveling a real challenge. But I refuse to allow these illnesses to take from me the things I love. Traveling is a passion of mine and I won’t give it up. So I do whatever I have to do to be able to travel knowing the trade off will be very costly and I will pay for many, many days, weeks or months as I recover.
When our son was preparing to head off to college this past August, I knew I would need something to look forward to in order to survive the first few months of empty nesting. I decided to book a trip to Maui as soon as I realized we could fly for free with our rewards points. All of a sudden, I had a great distraction from the fact my heart was about to walk out the front door and things would never be the same again as my child rearing years had come to a close.
It was our third day in Maui and I was not doing well. The autoimmune diseases were really pissed off that I was pushing myself so hard. It was warmer than I thought it would be, which didn’t help my adrenal insufficiency situation at all. But because we were in Hawaii and on a dream vacation, I just kept on pushing myself to my own detriment. I was struggling big time but decided to go on our pre-planned and paid for 8 hour snorkeling excursion to Lanai aboard a large catamaran. I took some motion sickness meds and some immodium, crossed my fingers, said a prayer and hoped for the best.
When we arrived at the boat, there weren’t many people waiting in line despite the fact the boat seemed pretty big. After waiting a few minutes, the captain came down and told us he only had 11 people signed up for this excursion when the boat can hold 88. He didn’t seem thrilled about it and his over the top personality was really rubbing me the wrong way. Plus I was feeling so horrible and trying to hold it altogether so I was pre-occupied with all of that. It was literally taking everything I had to be okay and I was barely hanging on.
The ride over to Lanai ended up being beautiful. The seas weren’t too rough and the weather was gorgeous. The crew of the boat were all super friendly and made their way around the boat, chatting with each group of travelers individually. Each crew member was so friendly and it was just lovely to have the chance to visit with each one of them and learn a little bit about their story and how and why they ended up in Hawaii. Not one of the crew members was a native of Hawaii which was so fascinating.
The photographer on the boat was a lovely lady named Casey. We got to talking and I was picking up on how genuine she was and she had complimented my energy. I knew she was one of my people so I opened up to her a little bit about my health journey and how big of a deal it was that I was on the boat and able to do the excursion after everything I had been through. She asked if she could give me a hug and of course I said yes. She gave me arguably one of the best hugs anyone has ever given me. You know, the kind of hug that feels like the warmth of the sun. A hug that is firm but not tight. A hug that transfers positive energy from one person to the other; love from one soul to another. I said to Casey, “You give the best hugs.” Much to my chagrin, she started getting choked up and said her grandmother always told her that. I told her I was so glad I could channel her grandmother that day for her. It was such a beautiful moment and the first time I felt and saw first hand the true meaning of Aloha.
When we arrived at the island of Lanai, I was not feeling well at all. I knew I was crashing and I was devastated because I wanted to go snorkeling so bad. But how could I when I was running back and forth frantically to the bathroom? I didn’t want to ruin the day for Jason so I told him to go on without me. He reluctantly decided to go ahead and snorkel.
I sat on a picnic table by myself to watch the snorkelers and to watch the waves crashing on the shore. I felt so sad at that moment. I quickly realized if I didn’t find a way to make the snorkeling happen for me, I’d regret it for the rest of my life. I had to get in that water. So I decided to humble myself, set aside my foolish pride and ask the captain for help.
Captain Turtle was sitting at the table in front of me watching all the snorkelers and visiting with an older couple who decided to forgo the snorkeling. I approached him gingerly, not sure what I would even say. All I knew is I needed to ask for help if I was going to be able to get out there and snorkle.
I approached the captain with trepidation. Pride is a weird thing and letting go of it is tough, but I knew what I had to do if I wanted to be able to snorkel. So I asked Captain Turltle if I could speak with him privately to which of course he said yes. He jumped up, and came over to me. Before I could even speak I iimmediately got emotional. The captain reached for me with open arms and gave me a huge hug and said, “It’s okay; just let it all out.” I was stunned by this precious act of kindness. He was inviting me to feel my feelings AND he wasn’t running away while I did. In fact, he was doing the opposite. He was turning towards me, extending to me that spirit of Aloha. My feelings and emotions didn’t bother him one bit and it was wildly refreshing.
I told the captain briefly about the past 6 years and gave him a few details of the hell I had endured medically. I shared about the myositis that had chomped through my muscles causing severe muscle weakness. I told him my primary concern was not being strong enough to swim and fight the current and waves while snorkeling. I also told him I would regret it forever if I didn’t get out there but I needed his help.
That’s all I had to say. Turtle jumped up and said, “Wait right here. I will get everything you need.” Within seconds he was back with fins and a snorkle, a floatation device and a paddle board. He helped me get my mask in place and off we went.
Captain insisted I lie on my belly on the paddle board. He pushed me on that board past the waves. He called Jason over. He told me to stick my head over the side of the board and put my mask in the water. As soon as I did, I saw my first fish in Hawaii! I was over the moon.
As we went along, we saw a variety of beautiful fish. Captain would poke his head up every so often to tell us something about a specific fish we’d seen. We saw a lot of unicorn fish which made my heart so happy since I’m often referred to as a unicorn. Then we saw these really cool looking black fish with yellow spots. There were 2 of them swimming around together and Captain submerged to tell us they were butterfly fish and they mate for life.
Oh my word; I about died. Jason’s mom passed back in 2020. She always comes to us in butterflies. Sharon made her appearance on our snorkeling excursion and again, I felt that spirit of Aloha, that Maui Magic envelop me. It was the best feeling in the whole world as I held my husband’s hand and we snorkeled together in paradise under the watchful, caring eye of Captain Turtle, never too far in case I needed help.
As we continued on our journey viewing this magnificent world beneath the sea, I started to cry. An immense feeling of gratitude overtook me and I was just so incredibly thankful for that very moment, in the ocean, off the island of Lanai, snorkeling with my husband of 22 years, seeing unicorn, parrot and butterfly fish and experiencing again the overwhelming and unworldly but beautiful feeling of Aloha. The gratefulness I felt in that very moment consumed me in the best possible way, so much so that I broke the seal on my mask while crying tears of joy and gratitude.
As the water started coming in my mask, I choked on some and had to come to the surface to reseal my mask. Captain and Jason heard me coughing and sputtering and they both came to the surface immediately to check on me. I started dying laughing! I was so filled with joy just for being alive and being able, with help, to go out and snorkle and see beautiful creatures under the sea. What a blessing. What a gift that moment in time was. I was overjoyed and humbled that I would get to have this experience. Again, feeling to my very core, that indespricabable feeling of Aloha.
If you had asked me 3 years ago if I would be traveling to Hawaii and snorkeling off the private island of Lanai, I would have called you crazy and probably stupid, too. My health was so poor for so long, I wasn’t really living. I was just surviving and barely doing that. When I rewind back to 3 years and reflect on how far I’ve come, It puts me in such a state of gratitude. I don’t know if I really believed I’d come this far. But I did; I have. And I’m still here, fighting for every possible margin. I’m building my life back. I’m learning to ask for help and to set aside my pride and ask for accommodations so that I can participate in life instead of sitting on the sidelines and missing out. I’m really proud of myself for this. It’s taken me a long time to get here. But learning to accept what is, opens up the door of opportunity and I’m ready for some new opportunities.
Words can’t seem to fully capture the magic we experienced on this extraordinary day with equally extraordinary people. The love, compassion, care, joy, empathy, kindness and genuine curiosity the captain and crew displayed to us is something I will never forget as long as I live. These beautiful people made me believe in the human spirit again. The love so freely given left me in complete awe. I want to be like these people when I grow up because that is how you live a life worth living. And that’s how you leave a lasting impression and thus create a legacy not based on achievement, but rather one rooted in the desire to leave people better off than when you found them. I want to make a positive impact on this world more than anything else. That is my heart’s one true desire. And Hawaii, that Maui Magic, the Aloha, well you can take that with you wherever you go. It’s not a place; it’s a way of being. I want to live a life full of Aloha.
I so desperately wanted to stay in Maui. I begged Jason every night to leave me there. The island itself felt incredibly healing to me. I felt at home. I felt safe with her. I felt at peace in my own skin. I could feel the Maui magic working inside of me and healing me and I didn’t want to go because I was afraid I’d lose that feeling, that way of being, the ALOHA.
It’s currently a pipe dream for me to live in Maui and I know it. But it’s not a pipe dream to want to recreate aloha in my heart so I can live out this way of being that I find to be so tremendously beautiful and inspiring. I had no clue going into this dream vacation that our time in Maui would prove to be some of the most magical moments of my life. Aloha, I’ve discovered, might very well be the perfect medicine for what ails me and the key to my healing. I’m going to do whatever it takes to recreate Aloha in my heart and in my everyday life so that no matter where I am, I always feel the beautiful spirit of Aloha in my heart.
Mahalo, Maui. Until we meet again. Mahalo.
Made For More 