Journey to a road less traveled; the story of how our family became a foster family.

To be loved and understood. Isn’t that what all people desire? I guess I can’t speak for anyone other than myself, but I want this so badly I can hardly stand it. If someone would have told me when my family embarked on the journey of becoming foster parents how lonely and misunderstood we would have felt on this journey, we probably would have turned in the other direction and ran away from this calling. Yet God is majestic in His way’s, only revealing to us bits and pieces in the right order, in the right time, to help us along the path He so deeply desires for us to pursue.

I am blessed beyond measure. I have a loving, talented, hard working, handsome, devoted, loyal, and God loving man that I get to call my husband. The road to finding him was not an easy one, but I will save that story for another day. We have a wonderful son, Joshua, who is a fulfilled promise from the Lord. His namesake, Joshua from the Old Testament, is a true description of who this young man is. He is the love of our lives and we could not be more blessed to be his mom and dad. He has a heart of gold and wisdom beyond his years. He demonstrates a deep understanding of spiritual things and is often the voice of God in our family. Despite the fact we suffered from secondary infertility and were never able to bare anymore children of our own, God blessed us with the miracle of a son that any family would dream of calling their own.

I always knew I wanted to be a mom. There was never any doubt for me and in my mid twenties, God planted a seed in my heart to one day adopt. I was on a mission trip in Mexico and we stopped by an orphanage. I fell in love with a 13 month old little boy who clung to me and fell asleep in my arms. When it was time to leave, they had to pry him from my arms as I bawled like a baby. If they would have let me, I would have adopted him right then and there and brought him home with me as a single, 25 year old woman. Fortunately, God had a bigger plan and this was just another tiny seed he planted in my heart that would one day bloom into a calling.

After 6 years of infertility and riding the emotional roller coaster of wanting a second child so badly that my life was consumed day and night with the pain of this unrealized dream, my husband and I decided it was time to close the window of opportunity and end the painful journey of that unrealized dream of a second child from my womb. This decision was gut wrenching and after my surgery, I cried and screamed and felt I had made the worst mistake of my life. Today, I realize that was no mistake, but rather the gentle hand of God prodding our family along in another direction. A path filled with many twists and turns, ups and downs, and a journey we never could have imagined.

A year prior to my surgery, we had started attending a class at Crossings Community Church called “Chosen”. This class was designed as a support system for people who were interested or already in the thick of fostering or adopting. To this day, I love the title of that class and believe that it is a true example of what we are; chosen to live this life that is a difficult, yet rewarding one. In turn, the children that come into our lives are also chosen, by God, to be a part of our family for a period of time and sometimes become a part of our forever family. It was in this Chosen class that God planted yet another seed in our hearts that would one day grow develop and mature into the desire to be foster parents.

Now if you would have told when we started attending the Chosen class that we’d end up fostering, we would have told you that you were nuts! We had NO desire to do this whatsoever. We were strictly interested in adopting. We had countless conversations with those who had adopted. We looked into various routes of adoption. We had conversations with our counselor about adoption. We explored every venue that we became aware of and yet we did not ever find the right “fit” for our family with adoption.

I was a late bloomer. I mean I didn’t find my true career calling in life until I was 36. I was laid off from a job I hated but had decided to dig my heels into and stay because I was sick and tired of changing jobs every year and a half and never finding the purpose that my heart longed for. Prior to being laid off, I had considered teaching and had even gone so far as to apply for the alternative teaching certification available in Oklahoma. I had been approved to pursue alternative certification, but once I got my approval letter, I tucked it away and stayed in a job that literally made me sick and miserable.

Getting laid off was horrible. If you have not ever gone through this experience, be grateful. Over night the “security” of a paycheck that my family depended on was taken away from me and I was devastated. I went into a deep depression that took months for me to climb out of. I was pursuing God and felt I was getting nothing in return. I was relentless with my time in the word and isolated myself from the outside world as I dug deep to figure what God would have me to do. I had always admired myself on being able to get any job I wanted, yet door after door slammed in my face. I knew there had to be a different plan for my life, a better plan, His plan.

In January of 2012, I began a Bible study called Jonah by Priscilla Shirer. I came home from the first day of that amazing study knowing full well what I had to do. I dug out my approval letter to pursue alternative certification to teach, and began the work I needed to do to earn my teaching certificate. In just 6 months, I had my certificate AND my first teaching job! God opened doors for me I never could have opened with my own hands and the first job I applied for and interviewed for, I ended up accepting as my first teaching position. God’s plan for me to live a life of purpose, a life of meaning, a life worth living, was coming to fruition.

Teaching is my passion. I love it! I love my “kids”. A huge part of this empty hole inside of me was now filled by my job and for the first time in my life, I was doing a job that I loved AND that fulfilled me! This fall I will embark on my fourth year as a speech and drama teacher. I could not be more blessed to get to work with 120 middle school kids every day. I strive to make a meaningful difference in the lives of my students, and in return, what they’ve taught me is invaluable and I’m forever grateful to know each one of my students.

My first year of teaching, we started attending the “Chosen” class. During this time, God continued his plan and worked on me and my husband’s hearts, softening us both to the point of us beginning to consider becoming foster parents. Over Christmas break, I faxed in our application to Angels Foster Agency. A few days later, my husband looked at me and said “I’m not ready.” To say I was disappointed would be a massive understatement. In retrospect, not only was my husband not ready, neither was I. The timing just wasn’t right for our family.

Fast forward two years to January, 2015. Jason and I talked it over and decided this time, the time was right. We talked to our son, and for the first time in his life, he verbalized a desire to have a sibling. What a sign from God for us to move forward as with all previous conversations we had with him, he had said he did not want a brother or sister.

So we faxed in our application again, and began the journey to get approved. I will say that having every area of your life scrutinized is not something I was prepared for. How do you prepare for that? In a world where we label people and are so quick to judge, this was not a fun process for me. But we proceeded, and just as was our goal, we were approved to be foster parents on Friday, May 29^th, 2015, one week after my third year of teaching was under my belt and we had the lazy days of summer just waiting to be filled ahead of us.

All the training, conversations, reading up on the topic, and prayerful consideration could not have prepared us for the journey that was ahead of us. Had we known the pain, the isolation, the havoc, the intense emotions, the sacrifice, the turmoil, and the heartache that would accompany this journey, we would have run screaming in the opposite direction, begging God for another calling, anything but this! Thank God we did not run. Thank God we chose to proceed. Thank God he chose us as His vessel to take in two displaced children who had no place else to go.

This journey has been the most difficult thing I’ve ever been a part of, but I believe from the very depths of my heart, this is the path He has for us AND He is using our family in a meaningful way to bless the lives of children that need it the most. I am neither interested nor looking for accolades. In fact, I do not feel worthy of the endless comments like “I could never do what you are doing!” “You are such a hero!” “You are amazing!” I do not measure up to ANY of these comments which are doled out with the best of intentions. I’m merely taking it one day at a time, more times than not, one moment at a time, trying to walk out the path He has set before me.

I want to share this journey with anyone who wants to be a part of it. I want to spread awareness of the fostering crisis in our state. I want to open the eyes of those who have chosen Jesus to the problems right here in our very own backyard. The truth is as Christians, we are called to take care of orphans and widows. We are called to be the hands and feet of Jesus. We are called to live a purpose driven life, not for our own gratification, but for the glory of the Lord to be revealed on this earth.

I do not say these things to lay guilt on anyone. I firmly believe that being a foster family is a calling and it is NOT meant for everyone. But I do believe that everyone who calls themselves a Christian can do something. Volunteer. Donate. Support. Pray. Do something. With 11,000 kids in DHS custody, the need is real and the need is great.

I hope you will open your hearts and pray, asking God how you can be a part of the solution to this major crisis WE are facing. Do not turn your backs on those who need your love and support the most. Do something. Do anything.

Until next time and with much love and admiration for your journey,

Kristin